Racial Slurs

First of all, happy 16th to my lil sis Amy! Love you Ames, and remember you can't date until I get back.

Tuesday

District Council, we killed Hna Ridenhower because she's ending her mission (pictures below) Then that night we slept at the ZL's house, they were doing divisions so there were 2 more elders and we all snuggled on a couple mattresses, Elder Granados played with my hair as I fell asleep, best I've slept in months to be honest.

Wednesday

We were in Montevideo for Elder Llerena's Uruguayan ID.

Friday

Twas the national holiday of Mate, best day of my life.

Saturday

We had an "Asado" with the Elders Quorum. Imagine a cookout but instead it's just enormous slabs of meat and sausage.

Bullet Beans

- The yerba I drink is Baldo, it's my love. It looks like Balto. So I've been thinking a lot about Balto. Good movie, good boy. Never forget the hero himself. We love you Balto.

- This week I got pranked by some cereal I bought, I'm still not entirely sure they didn't accidentally put dog food in the cereal aisle. Usually I go for some frosted flake looking stuff, this week I thought I'd try the cheerio looking stuff. It smells like poop. Bruh moment.

- Speaking of which, our English speaking friend Gualberto was telling us about his daily routine. After talking about the differences between toilets around the world he goes "Every day in the morning I poop, I flush after and it all goes away. It's all healthy and good. Before it was not all healthy and good, but now it is, it is important to poop everyday." Honestly I thought he was reciting scripture, or Shakespeare or something. Truly beautiful stuff.

- More Gualberto: It's difficult to stay on topic, he likes to ask about our opinions on many irrelevant things, such as the Pope, the fact that apparently the entire continent of Africa doesn't have food, I did not know that thanks for letting me know man, and Burger King. This week he got on the topic of race, and black people. I'm sure it was just the language barrier confusion but the only way he referred to them was just hard R n-word, just tossing it around like nothing, savage move Gualy. So after throwing around racial slurs for a few minutes he tells us the story of Rosa Parks, who refused to give up her seat on the bus because she was... paralyzed? Must've been asleep during that history lesson. Cool guy.

- There's this guy here, who literally rides on an actual horse pulled chariot. Like downtown too. He just stands there in all his glory with his hair blowing in the wind being pulled by his steed on a chariot. He has a weapons rack of straight javelins which he throws at people as he rides past. This week I had the honor of being impaled through the sternum with one. I'm in critical condition. Salute the man.

- Here is a "Don't" for Uruguay. Don't touch a woman's dishes. Her husband will tease you and she will get offended. Now I'm not saying these folks are sexist, but man some of these folk are sexist. I tried to help clean up after lunch once and I nearly got stoned to death.

- I was reading my buddy Sam's letter from Botswana and he was talking about having to scare off a Hyena. I mean sometimes a cow starts following us but no Hyenas :/

- During a charla, this guy fell asleep during a video we showed his family. After it ended his wife woke him up, but for the remainder of the charla he talked to us with his eyes closed and mumbling. Perhaps just a sign of respect.

- Alright so first people were thinking I was in my 20's, and now this week some kid thought I was Russian what in the world.

- MATE: 2 Things. First, I literally have a problem. I drink hot mate in the morning and then because that wasn't enough I drink an iced mate with lemonade in the night. Sometimes one of the 2 during afternoon studies as well. At least now I can relate to the drug addicts. Second, it happened again, I can't trust a ball around my open thermos. It all happened in slow mo, I just watch the ball leave the foot of Elder Llerena and just rocket towards my thermos, smacking it and sending water all over the wall. President please I was just trying to write in my journal.

2 Quick SPIRITUAL Beans

- Sometimes in life, we are Buzz Lightyear. And Woody is Satan. (No you're not I love you Woody it's just an example) Sometimes Satan will say, "You are a toy, you can't fly!" And yeah maybe we can't, we can't be perfect. But we can "fall with style" We can be good enough. Worthiness isn't perfection. Just remember, sometimes in life, we are Buzz Lightyear.

- So this week I extended my first baptismal invitation. We were with our flirtatious senior Beatriz. It was a very spiritual lesson about baptism, we watched the video of Jesus Christ's baptism. When it finished I followed the spirit and asked her to follow His example and be baptized. The spirit was very strong, very present. She looked me in the eyes, paused, then said very firmly... "No." So that was cool, can't wait to extend my next invitation. Then we asked her to close with a prayer and we bowed our heads and waited for about 10 seconds, then looked back up to see her just crossing up her chest in silence mouthing some words to the Virgin Mary catholic style and we realized we have some work to do haha cool stuff.

Love, Elder Jerman

Toy Story enthusiast

Waiting for my chipotle to warm up

Stoned in a pit for helping with dishes

100% Conversion rate on bapt. invitations

Russian

Not addicted to Mate

Email the bean himself at

zachary.jerman@missionary.org

1. The Death of Hna Ridenhower