Some German Chap

WAIT last week I made a fatal mistake, when I said Pablo I wrote Peter instead of Paul, its Paul. Forgive my transgressions.

So anyway,

Tuesday

We rolled up to a charla with a man named Gualberto, who speaks some english. He called me "man" the whole thing and said "same" to everything. Maybe next time I can just hit him with "I know the Book of Mormon is true and I want to be baptized" then he can just go "Same, man" Easy. So anyways we didn't have a ton of time with him but we will probably end up doing all the charlas in english because he doesn't want to speak spanish haha so now it's my turn to lead and for my comp to add on. Yeehaw.

Wednesday

Zone conference and activity, we played minute to win it and mummified Elder Nerdin's head.

Friday

A conference for new missionaries, all the Hermanas cried when the saw each other again and the Elders just nodded. Nah I'm playing we kissed. After that we did exchanges in Montevideo because (see below)

Saturday

This day we woke up and went to a big chapel, the other mission in Uruguay was there, and some German fella as well. We took a large group photo with him and then sat down to hear him talk. He spoke many strong and motivating words. His name was Elder Uchtdorf or something German like that. Shook his hand, and his wife's hand. Nice folks.

- If you're a fan of the one and only Ferrel Dean #31, he's serving in the West mission and we were able to snag a photo together! Get you somebody who looks at you the way he looks at me.

Sunday

Church went well again, A less active came and brought her 4 kids, and like 6 other kids I don't even know where they came from or where she found them.

Bullet Beans

- A houseful of Latinos means calling everybody fat apparently, I have been called fat in Spanish at least 150 times and it's just the loveliest. I'm pretty sure we could get an anorexic kid up in here and they would still just call him fat all day long. It's pretty cool.

- People fear our power and our truth. At one yard this lady literally picked up a lawn chair and hid behind it until we left haha. Super nice lady.

- So remember how I just kiss dudes all the time? Well we can't kiss women obviously but like 3 times this week a woman or girl has made an attempt to greet me with a kiss and I have hard swerved 3 each time, so savage haha get missionary handbooked.

- Okay wait how old do I look I thought I looked 17 years old. In a conversation with this 13 girl on a bus she thought I was 32 and her friend said 26, then in a different conversation with a 15 year old girl, she thought I was also 26. I don't know, maybe it's because I'm 6'8 250 pounds and my voice is deeper than Smaug's.

- So with 4 Elders in the house... it is very fun. It mainly just comes down to running around in our G's and throwing soccer balls at each other, or water, or kunai blades honestly we just try and kill each other. No but one day, I was just studying, drinking my afternoon mate, and Elder Lopez fires my lil baby basketball at me. It ricochets off the wall and smacks my mate, sending all the yerba inside flying, splattering the wall. If the mission president wants to know why there are green stains on the wall just tell him I'm dead.

- Let's just say it is a miracle that I have not gained at least 50 pounds here, because after each member lunch I literally walk home with 50 pounds of food in my stomach each day. Nevertheless I must keep exercising or else I will literally pass away.

- We spent a lot of time in Montevideo this week, we hoteled 2 nights (because of the new bean conf and the other conf) we spent a bunch of time with the AP's which was savage, let's just say that I kissed both AP's, I'm climbing the ladder.

- I saw the saddest thing this week. No I am not kidding. Here is the back story the me and Elder Llerena have calculated. Dog, owner, dog get injury in leg in hip, big hole very bad, owner no want dog, owner throw dog in dumpster, dog no have power to get out, dog just sit in trash with bugs inside his leg, dog eventually will die while people walk past and do nothing. I am sad. This is like throwing poop at a dead cat sad. He is helpless and will slowly die. I love you dog. Say hi to my dead dog Tucker in heaven for me.

Love, Elder Jerman

1. Ending Racism