HEY READ THIS REAL QUICK

 THIS RIGHT HERE READ THIS

Every now and then somebody pops into my head and I think "Hm I think they're on my email list, I wonder if they read these... I wonder how they're doing." Honestly 3/4 of you could be dead and I wouldn't know, but I care about the wellbeing of all y'all so I hope not. So if you are reading this do not hesitate to write me a super quick email letting me know how you're doing. I'm pretty sure I love everybody that's on this list so for real don't hesitate haha 

I will definitely get back to you when I have time! Thanks :) 

P.S. If you think it's not worth writing because you think I won't care honestly how dare you. Valid excuses only.

zachary.jerman@missionary.org

You are no longer required by law to read further.

Last pday we went to Waffle House as a district after playing pickleball, very nice. A cute English class with this older lady, she tried to explain what her idea of an inside joke was and it was really funny and adorable. It involved us sitting on the couch and then her moving really close to me to put her hand on my arm and pretty much snuggle up against me so yeah you heard me I'm back at it again with the older demographic. I'm sorry that sounds horrible she's a lovely lady. We had a potluck with the senior missionaries and 4 other missionaries in our complex, very wholesome and homie. Had another class with our boy with slight below average reading capabilities. A friend from work moved in with them who is a lot younger than he is. It's a very adorable friendship. Lots of laughs with those guys. I can't properly express how much I love that little man. We had a member dinner with all 8 ward missionaries. La hermana is super funny, her and I chatted the whole time and at one point she was just flaming the other élderes across the table. It was like the unhealthiest meal of all time, I'm tryna lose weight here squadfam. Literally hotdogs, pizza and icecream. Salted by the tears of my self image issues. Kidding. The hermanas from our district each had a baptism so we went to 2 baptisms in one day. It was a privilege to be there and to participate in the confirmations :) They made my comp cut his nails and he hasn't been the same since. I've been getting back into playing kendama. It's the one ball on string with a wooden spike to land it on and 3 other cups. Anyways it's been fun, this next week I'm gonna see if I can turn it into some Facebook finding. Had a good Sunday as well, a nice devotional at night. Us 4 élderes were also invited to the Bishop's for dinner, it was nice to get to know him and his family better! The mom reminded me of a less active lady in Uruguat who reminded me of my mom. Quite the journey just to get reminded of my mom. Also sometimes at one of the chapels there's a flowery scent that sticks around that also reminds me of my mom. National mom day or something I don't know.

Pics

- Heart attacking a friend's door

- A facemask that cute old lady gave me. A lot of people think they can solve my acne and I just smile and say thank you put listen folks the only thing that will work is the modern, scientifically proven medicine. Not your weird mixtures of stuff. Sorry. 

Gangnam style.- Just some d00d

- Our mango tree

- The Yam District aka the Yams

- Epic cat

- Powdery green bread

Pictures from the English sister's baptism. 

Also went to Antionio's baptism with the hermanas.

What no but thanks

 Transfers happened but we did not get changed. Another accutane appointment in the books heck yeah. The upstairs neighbors turned their house into a pond and we were rained upon. Bars. A man gave us free ice cream, I cried and took his shift for the rest of the night out of gratitude. I love our friend who is illiterate. Sorry I don't know how to specify and be respectful at the same time. He is so adorable and we just laugh about nothing together. He is just a simple, beautiful man. I wish I could kiss him. On that note a member of the stake presidency told me this, and I quote "Can I kiss you now?" So I guess you could say things are going pretty well. We had a carwash and me and my comp waved signs on the road to attract the people and I slipped into insanity for a little bit. We had 2 dinners that night. I tried to help this high school girl with her chemistry homework because it was one of my best subjects but when they say that your knowledge is preserved on your mission that stuff is false doctrine because I felt like our illiterate friend in that moment. Sorry again, I love him he is my precious little man. At a conference they had a lot of ice cream and pressured me to eat it and I lost sight of myself and ate so much. I was doing so well with my epic weight loss journey now I am obese.

Goodbye

Love, élder Jerman

I don't have time leave me alone

I am hydrate

 Monday

Epic district activity. We put our aura colored handprints on each other's aprons. Our auras were given to us by an hermana in our district who seems to be some sort of a aura reading lady. Everyone tried my mate which was funny. Then a zone pday, just played volleyball as a district, go Yams. We got some potting soil for our mango seed.

Tuesday

Exchanges with the zone leaders! I went with my buddy Renton! We had a service project to go to, it was a blast to just talk and catch up. Love that guy. A member made us enchiladas con mole so that's another food dream taste complete.

Wednesday

Got some haircuts and ate more enchiladas at a members house you know how it goes. I am fat. We met this less active dude who's sister lives in Orem so he was showing me all the pictures of his visits and not gonna lie it was weird seeing a picture of Orem Center Street haha. I like that street to be honest. One of the best streets in Orem. What can I say I'm a street kind of guy.

Thursday

Our last district council before transfers so we did facemasks and signed each other's yearbooks. Sad, it's been a good district. Una hna brought us pizza but we had to sprint around the complex to find her. My companion ate like 12 of the 16 slices, super cute guy.

Friday

Pulled down a shed for a service for a member. We literally opened up a portal to hell. A horde of bugs came barreling at us and they swarmed the hno and literally ate him alive. We barely made it back to our car. We had a zoom zone conference with the president and another zone after. My comp and I volunteered with a roleplay. I was a father and he was my son, they asked what I liked to do and I panicked trying to search my fatherly hobbies and I said "scrapbooking," I tried to play along but I lost it and my companion and I died laughing. Then we had to give a thought on obedience shortly after and almost lost it again. President referred to me as a scrapbooking renaissance man. I will replace him next transfer. 

Saturday

I drowned a man in the waters of baptism. I'm being persecuted.

Sunday

C H U R C H

Bullet Beans

• Accutane has been nice enough to stop making me break out. You know that scene in Rango when he gets exposed to the desert sun the first time and his epidermis dries up and falls of like 3 times in a row? That's basically what happens to me all day long. My face can visibly be seen drying up. I have a fluffy wide beard. That's right what are you gonna do about it?

• I think I am finally experiencing side effects of Accutane. Late afternoon I become the most tired man alive.

• So the hermanas in our district brought us cookies and a birthday sign that said "happy late birthday", and so I hung up the sign and we ate all the cookies and then we found out they wanted us to take it all to an élder whose birthday. Wait is whose a word? Anyways his birthday was earlier in the month and they wanted us to drop it off to him so that was funny, nobody tell him.

Love, élder Jerman

Loves the mountains and the rolling hills

That is all I have to say

Pics

-district activity 

- handprint aprons

(mom's computer picture)

- The picture doesn't do it justice

- One of the car mats we were gifted

- A baptism of a truly adorable man  

- Yam district

- Me and my boy Renton

- Milk carton, very nice 

I am speed

 Ladies and gentlemen, I have come to the realization that I made a grammar mistake last email. While explaining how we helped tutor that one lady's kids. I said "there homework" instead of "their homework." Years of schooling all for nothing. Forgive me.

Okay quick no time

Monday

Pday shopping and such. We visited a less active kid and his mom just roasted us the whole time and was trying to get us to join in, what an experience. Poor guy just wants to smoke some weed. But just don't.

Tuesday

A mission Zoom devotional which was cool.

Wednesday

We picked up some dry cleaning and also ate some cheesecake at a members.

Thursday

Finally had an in person district council. Our hnas have been quarantined for ages. We had a lil arts and craft activity. They made me my favorite pie, banana cream! For my birthday they were quarantined for a few months back. Other stuff. Also our days were packed with lessons I am just hitting some random points. 

Friday

We had service at like 06:45 which was epic. Later a child was shoved into my hands by her mother, were not allowed to hold kids which always is a sad rule for me but she didn't give me a choice so #tendermercy. We had interviews with our mission president, cool guy. Later we changed our oil and made a fort. 

Saturday

We filmed a member tell his spiritual story for a devotional we have coming up. I took a test the church provides missionaries to test their mission languages which was fun. 

Sunday

In church person in person. We had some investigators show up which was great. An amazing spirit there. Then we had 2 member dinners. Power move.

I'm off, toddle pip pip.

Love, élder Jerman

No

Time

Yee

Haw

Mrs. Obama get down

Bullet Beans

• So our one friend that we jokingly thought was illiterate is actually illiterate so we are going at his speed, he also doesn't understand my uruguayo accent and so I have to force myself to speak in his accent, I do the same thing for little kids.

• We took some leftover pozole to one of our investigators to return their Tupperware but jokes on them it was old and smelt bad freaking got em.

• After 13 months of living here I finally pet Dave the Female Cat that lives in our complex. I almost got him inside.

• We have a few days in the week where we don't speak 1 word of English which is fun.

• We are helping this gay fella with his English. He's like in his young 20s from Colombia and came here and married a rich 63 police chief, I respect it. 

• During a charla, we were dropping some bars and spitting facts you know how it goes. And then snot started streaming out of my nose but prank it tastes like blood ou my gosh it is blood and it's coming out quick. Luckily it was good timing to take a break and what we talked about sink in. Meanwhile my mask was pooling up with blood so yeah epic swag gangnam style.

Pics

- We found a mountain.

- Your boys

- John the grasshopper

- Obama no please

- Our mango seed germinated, now we plant.

- Bloody nose boi

- Early morning service stroll

- 2nd member dinner of the night